Be Happy for Her

I saw a client of mine the other day who had a big break through.  She’s an actor who’s been frustrated for a while about her career.  And while she’s been feeling stuck, an old friend of hers has been experiencing the kind of acting success my client has always dreamed of.

As much as my client wanted to feel happy for her friend, she just couldn’t.  The more success the friend had, the more my client confessed that she felt jealous and unhappy.  She told me it felt like her friend’s success was actively taking something from her and it just wasn’t fair.  It was hard for her to speak these feelings out loud and I was so proud of her for bravely giving words to her pain.

Hey – we’ve all been there.  We hate to admit it.  We want to be happy for our friends who have somehow figured out how to have what we want, but so often, it throws us into lack.  It makes us super aware that we don’t have what they have.  It makes us feel like failures and that we’ve done something wrong.  Just seeing their good can put us in an instant bad mood.

So, about a month ago, I said to my client (in the most gentle way possible), if you can truly find it in your heart to be happy for your friend and bless all of her successes, everything will change for you.

Now, I don’t know what my client was thinking when she left me that day.  She might have thought I was full of it.  Or that this was a ridiculous idea.

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But I found out the other day that she did it anyway.  She meditated daily on blessing her friend.  On being happy for her.  On seeing her success as benefiting everyone around her, including her.  She visualized her friend winning awards and she sent that friend even more love.  She did it!  I was so proud.

And guess what else she told me?  That she, my client, was OFFERED a part in a new show.  No audition required.  The offer came completely out of the blue.  The show is with producers she had dreamed about working with and her first day on the set was delightful.

Now, I’m extremely happy that she’s having this success.  She’s a wonderful actor and this is her heart’s desire.  But I was even more happy about the work she has been doing to heal her heart.  I have no doubt that truly blessing her friend rained blessing down on her.

So on this lovely day, I’m asking us all to lead with an open heart.  To search where we might still be holding jealousies, grudges or withholding energy and clean that stuff up.  Let’s choose to believe that others’ successes don’t take from us, but as we lean in to them, they actually bless us.

Who can we open our hearts to today?  I’d love to hear how this small yet enormous act changes your heart.

4 thoughts on “Be Happy for Her

  1. Lori B

    It’s a great reminder. I can see where it may not even be anyone in my immediate circle but that there are others, unknown to me personally, but who I hold that feeling towards…I will look at that…thanks Dana!

    Reply
  2. Kevin Gregg

    Very good article Dana. A classic example used in recovery programs: if someone is driving you crazy, pray for them.
    It’s so strangely counterintuitive, but it works. I’ve done this with people that I’ve had resentment toward; people who have taken up a lot of space in my head. But in the process of paying for the best in these people’s lives,the hold on my heart has lightened.
    Thanks for the reminder.

    Reply
  3. Tari L Bramlett

    Hello Dana 🙂
    Your article from Aug 4, 2015 is a really good reminder of part of our recent session, the coworker segment. 🙂
    I am forever Grateful for the session I had with you! This Michigan gal had her Best Ever 10 day visit in California this May into June, one I will never forget and that was life changing!! THANK YOU!

    ~Tari

    Reply

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